Graceful Disagreement

"In public discourse, the challenge is not to stifle robust debate, but rather to make sure that it is real debate. The first obligation for Christians is to listen carefully to opponents and if they are not willing to do so, then Christians should simply be silent. To engage in a war of words is to encourage in a symbolic voiolence that is fundamentally at odds with the gospel. - James Davison Hunter "To Change the World" (emphasis added)

This is something that I have thought about quite a bit over the past few months. As someone that keeps up a blog and loves posting quotes and questions, I read this and was challenged as it made me ask myself the question, "Why do I post what I post?" Most of what I post are things that have ministered to or exhorted me and so I like to pass them along. Other times they are things that I have worked and thought through and I am trying to help others to do the same. But alas, there are other times when I have used quotes, blogs and online conversations to simply "engage in a war of words." Even when I have done these things I can say with all honesty that I never meant harm, but I also can say that I have, at times, not given the proper place to thinking through - let alone praying through - posting on potentially controversial topics.

At times I have posted on some of these more controversial issues simply because I feel that it is ridiculous that they are controversial in the first place. For example, my theology has changed quite a bit in the past couple years and so I have posted on topics that are, in my view, completely in the realm of non-essential to the faith and yet people have been offended. Whether or not they "should" get offended at such things is beside the point, I needed to do a better job of making sure that they understood that I had "listened carefully" to their view before sharing my own. I have also, at times, shared my view in a way that may have led some to think that I was saying all other positions are foolishness. Again, even though that was not my intention, if my words were received that way it is still my fault for not communicating more clearly; I should have broached the subject more gently.

If any of you have been on the receiving end of any of the things I have just referenced - Please forgive me. If you want to contact me so that we can discuss these topics further please do so and I would be happy to apologize in person.

What I have learned is that we would do well to learn from the wisdom in the quote above. Far too often, we as Christians (again I am including myself), tend to attack before fully understanding what it is that we are attacking. It is one thing to disagree with someone's views - whether political, ethical, spiritual, etc. - but to reductionistically paint them as moronic, harmful, and/or evil without first understanding where they are coming from is the epitome of hubris.

The Bible explicitly teaches that ALL of creation is stained by sin, and though Christians are made righteous in Christ, that is a "positional righteousness" not an actual righteousness. Though washed in Christ's blood we are still sinful and broken creatures, or as the Reformers put it, we are simultaneously saint AND sinner. Because of this we need a far more humble approach in our critiques of other's positions.

First we must work to understand why they hold that position. There is no worldview that is completely devoid of truth because all worldviews borrow from a biblical worldview. At the very least all worldviews encourage promotion (worship) of one thing, and denouncing of something else. That is borrowed from a Christian worldview that recognizes the supreme goodness of God and the need to worship Him alone.

Practically, I want to challenge each of us to rethink the positions that we cling to most. For myself, there are certain (non-essential) theological positions that I hold very strongly to, so my tendency will be to dismiss those that hold to contrary positions. Especially in areas where I am the most passionate I can tend to be the most short-sighted, and that is where I need to be extra careful to really take a step back and make sure that I fully understand the other person's position. I don't have to agree with them, but if I don't understand why they hold to that position then I probably do not really understand their position at all. If I don't come to the place of understanding why they believe as they do, then I walk away thinking that they are simply stupid for believing that way. However, it is rarely the case that someone believes something for no reason at all, and it is our responsibility to fully understand what they believe before we begin disagreeing with them.

Christians are not the only ones that fall into this trap, though we do have a tendency to do so, sadly there are many today who hear that the first chapter of the Bible teaches that God created everything and so they dismiss the whole book based on that. We see the foolishness of that approach when they do it, but do we recognize when we do the same thing?

Again, I am absolutely not saying that you need to agree with them, but we should be able to so clearly explain the other person's position that they would be in full agreement with, and perhaps even get excited about our explanation of their position. Only then do we truly understand both sides of an argument.

Now for a challenge, for all my friends that take very strong positions on politics, theology, economics, etc. Could you fairly and honestly state the other person's view in a way that they would recognize and even get excited about your articulation of it? If not, you very well may be fighting with a straw-man that you have created all by yourself.

May we have the intellectual integrity to truly seek to understand both sides of the issues that we are passionate about, and may we have the wisdom to disagree gracefully and gently. May we not allow our "war of words" to cause us to be "fundamentally at odds with the gospel" and drastically misrepresent our Lord and Savior.